Crap

I don't have time for crap.

I've got two kids, a full-time job, an old house, and a wife. I've got to filter out the crap and get to the good stuff.

So, this year, I'm saying "bye-bye" to bad games. Not just bad ones, but mediocre ones too. I might bid a couple fond "fuck you"s to some good ones that I've not played in a couple years, too.

Bon voyage, Beyond the Beyond. Adios, Atelier Iris: Eternal Marie. See ya later, Suikoden (yes, Suikoden). You will plague me no more!

So, I'm gonna start posting about one game I'm tossing and one game I'm keeping and why. By the end of the year, I hope to be able to fit my games on two medium-sized shelves.

We'll see.

Distraction

I have 2 hours. Three tops.

Read a book. Create a novel. Start a web-comic. Write some music. Program a game. Build a bookcase.

Play a video game.

It always wins. Though the desire to create something is always there, itching the back of my brain like a 2-day old sunburn, I just can't bring myself to do anything creative these days. As a parent, I know I only have a few hours (if I'm lucky) to do something that doesn't involve answering, preparing, feeding, picking up, cleaning, resolving, wiping, asking (and asking again), commanding, negotiating, finally giving in.

But, flip on Firefox and the RSS feed updates with the latest screens and news. I sit with mouth slightly slackened and stare at the digital goodness (some badness) that appears before me. I had just gotten jaded enough with games (that issue of Play is 2 weeks old now, after all) that my other desires had started to creep back in. I turn around and there's some new DS game that reminds me of Chrono Trigger or Zelda and once again, I'm hooked. It's like the industry plans this, or something.

Confession

Um... is anybody out there?  This is my first blog post thing.  Ahem. Here goes...

I'm a husband.   A daddy.  A student.  A "professional," by default, in that I have a job and do something that required 4 years of college.  A good person.  A Democrat.

And, a gamer.  

There, I said it.  For some reason, it's hard to say in social situations (though the Internet is the most unsocial social situation there is, but anyway.)  But why is that?  I've often wondered why it's so hard to confess to my fellow students (people who try so hard to be cooler, better, smarter).  To my fellow co-workers (people who try so hard to be better, smarter, more sucessful).  To my friends.  To my wife, who can't really understand the whole thing.

And I really can't understand it either.  I mean, what is it about this medium that has such a hold over my attention and (ever diminishing) free time?  Why does moving a collection of pixels around a TV screen appeal to me so?  Why do images that have no permanance stay in my mind so?  Why does, what often amounts to be fluff and eye-candy, grab my attention so?  Is it the freedom that games offer?  Is it the creativity, the sandbox play, the story, the characters?  All of the above?

Whatever it is, it has exerted this pressure against my conscience for the better part of my life.  I christened my blog "Nintendaddy" not because I'm a Nintendo fanboy or anything but because the NES was the fist system that I really owned independently of my brothers. And that system really owned me.  I've purchased almost every system since then (ignoring the 3DO and later Atari systems).  If I didn't buy it during it's hayday, I have tracked it down on e-Bay in my later (wealthier) years.  

And this is another source of embarassment for me.  The shear number of consoles, controllers, games that I own.  I hide them away in boxes, afraid to display them on shelves for fear of a co-working stepping into my living room and seeing all this crap I've grown so attached to.  I'm certainly not crazy, but I do have more than the average gamer.  

And that kind of frightens me, because what kind of example amI setting for my kids?  My kids. I know they will be gamers too.  But this is a far more dangerous time to be a young gamer, given the nature of a lot of games out there.  I mean, I know I turned out ok, but I grew up in the era of Mario and Sonic - two of the most benign characters is existence.  I've seen my little 4 yr old nephews playing Halo, which is something I'd never let my kids do (until they are older and more responsible).  

*Sigh*  So, this has kind of been therapeutic for me.  Thank you for listening.  I hope to keep posting here.  I want to keep this free and loose and talk about things that "adult" gamers face in their work-a-day lives.  Having kids.  Lacking time.  Appeasing the spouse.  Keeping up appearances in general.  And being a gamer all the while.  

I hope that someone reads this and can identify.  Maybe you struggle with some of the same demons?