I'm a husband. A daddy. A student. A "professional," by default, in that I have a job and do something that required 4 years of college. A good person. A Democrat.
And, a gamer.
There, I said it. For some reason, it's hard to say in social situations (though the Internet is the most unsocial social situation there is, but anyway.) But why is that? I've often wondered why it's so hard to confess to my fellow students (people who try so hard to be cooler, better, smarter). To my fellow co-workers (people who try so hard to be better, smarter, more sucessful). To my friends. To my wife, who can't really understand the whole thing.
And I really can't understand it either. I mean, what is it about this medium that has such a hold over my attention and (ever diminishing) free time? Why does moving a collection of pixels around a TV screen appeal to me so? Why do images that have no permanance stay in my mind so? Why does, what often amounts to be fluff and eye-candy, grab my attention so? Is it the freedom that games offer? Is it the creativity, the sandbox play, the story, the characters? All of the above?
Whatever it is, it has exerted this pressure against my conscience for the better part of my life. I christened my blog "Nintendaddy" not because I'm a Nintendo fanboy or anything but because the NES was the fist system that I really owned independently of my brothers. And that system really owned me. I've purchased almost every system since then (ignoring the 3DO and later Atari systems). If I didn't buy it during it's hayday, I have tracked it down on e-Bay in my later (wealthier) years.
And this is another source of embarassment for me. The shear number of consoles, controllers, games that I own. I hide them away in boxes, afraid to display them on shelves for fear of a co-working stepping into my living room and seeing all this crap I've grown so attached to. I'm certainly not crazy, but I do have more than the average gamer.
And that kind of frightens me, because what kind of example amI setting for my kids? My kids. I know they will be gamers too. But this is a far more dangerous time to be a young gamer, given the nature of a lot of games out there. I mean, I know I turned out ok, but I grew up in the era of Mario and Sonic - two of the most benign characters is existence. I've seen my little 4 yr old nephews playing Halo, which is something I'd never let my kids do (until they are older and more responsible).
*Sigh* So, this has kind of been therapeutic for me. Thank you for listening. I hope to keep posting here. I want to keep this free and loose and talk about things that "adult" gamers face in their work-a-day lives. Having kids. Lacking time. Appeasing the spouse. Keeping up appearances in general. And being a gamer all the while.
I hope that someone reads this and can identify. Maybe you struggle with some of the same demons?
1 comment:
The real question is: how many platforms can a person own and enjoy Chrono Trigger on?
As a fellow gamer dad, I can identify with bbbbb (yeah, good example there--those b's were typed by my three-year old in the 20 seconds I was AFK).
Anyway, I can identify with the anxiety. I hope my kids will recognize the kinds of choices I make about games--quality of gameplay over polish, excitement about writing, &c. In fact that above mentioned three year old is jonesing for some Peggle (or Bejeweled?) right about now, hence the urgency with which I leave this reply.
Don't worry about the games, a youth spent playing Halo is still a step up from plenty of rotten possibilities.
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